disappointed

Picture this:

It's 9:30 am.

I have already caught my 9th graders cheating on their homework, and had to lay down some serious consequences.

I slip briefly into the back room with my 9th graders to help them study for an upcoming test.

In the first 30 seconds I'm away from the main room, I hear my 4th grader whining/crying, and stomping around. Then I hear a crash, and my 10th grader say "DONT THROW STUFF AT YOUR TV!"

I go out there.

She has thrown her purple pens in the general direction of the TV.

But not the caps.

She saves those to chew on.

So after my stern railings, I get her back on task, and go back to help the 9th graders.

30 seconds later...

I hear my 10th grader instructing her again.

"No one is making ANY noises. You don't have to cry about it!"

She cries.

Loudly.

And hits herself repeatedly in the face.

So I go back out there, and tell her that she has to come and sit quietly with me while I help the older girls.

The 7th graders are not watching their class.

One is leaning over the edge of my 10th grader's "cubicle" and chatting with her, the other is reading her book again.

My 3rd grader has ripped a piece of paper off of his book box, and torn it up into a heaping pile of teeeeeeny, tiiiiny shreds on his desk.

He has also written on the wall with his pencil.

I get them all back on their DVDS, or cleaning the wall, and slip back into the "study room."

30 seconds later....

My 3rd grader yells

"Mrs. M!!! Bean cut his hair!"

I run back out there.

Bean has cut his hair.

Chunks.

Good thing yesterday was picture day.

I decide that I can't be away from the main room for even one minute today.

So I quickly finish up with the 9th graders, and get everyone else back on task.

It is 9:45.

Welcome to 15 minutes of my very long day, in what has been a very disappointing couple of weeks.

Not disappointing because of the things they DO (even though its those things that give me headaches) - they're kids! - what's disappointing is that they repeatedly don't fess up and take responsibility for the things they do! i WATCHED JJ write on the wall, and he still said he didn't do it. Bean said he didn't cut his hair, but there he was, scissors in hand, hair on the floor. It goes on and on. While their guilty faces tell the whole story, they won't let the words come out that they have done something wrong. I have tried so hard to foster an environment, and a relationship with them that allows for confession when they have done something wrong, knowing that they'll get complete forgiveness from me! Most the time I'm not even mad! I don't care that JJ made a mark on the wall, as long as he cleans it up! Why do they continue to lie when it's not even important? They defend themselves to the end! How can they really learn a lesson through something, and grow through it if they haven't confessed that they were wrong in the situation? How do I get this to change in them?